Resilience: The Benefits of It and 5 Steps to Building It
Resilience, as defined by the American Psychological Association (APA), is “the process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences.” Essentially, resilience is our ability to cope with and help us “bounce back” from these challenging experiences.
It is also important to mention a few important considerations about resilience, as we consider the role it plays in our lives. Firstly, while genetics can influence an individual’s capacity for resilience, it is not simply an innate trait that some people possess, and others don’t. Instead, it is something that can be learned, built upon and strengthened throughout our lives.
A second aspect of resilience that is worth nothing is that it isn’t something that remains the same over time, but instead, changes depending on circumstances and even how we may feel on a certain day. There are also areas of our life that we may feel more resilient than others, such as navigating issues at work vs. home or vice versa. And while every individual face challenges that are specific to them, there are also common barriers that a collective group of people could face, such issues including long-term/chronic health conditions (physical and mental health), loneliness, financial struggles, limited access to services (education, healthcare, transportation, etc.), living conditions, stigma, and/or being in a strained/toxic relationship.
Experiencing these burdens, (and sometimes multiple of these burdens at once), can seem impossible at times, but learning resilience can help it feel easier. While resilience won’t make these problems go away or ensure that we are never stressed again, it can help us handle the stress when it comes up and not let it control us. In addition, resilience also has many other benefits, as it is associated with longevity, lower rates of depression and an overall greater life satisfaction. On the other hand, a lack of resilience could indicate an inability to handle stress well, which could lead to chronic stress and chronic stress is associated with high blood pressure, insomnia, anxiety, depression, and more.
Those are just some of the reasons on why resilience is important and the benefits, but the question now is – how do we build it?
Here are 5 tips on building resilience:
1. Social Connection. One of the most common and suggested tips when it comes to building resilience is to build relationships with others. Connecting with others, specifically those who are empathetic and understanding, can help you feel less alone during difficult times. It can be the easiest thing in the world to isolate ourselves when we are struggling, but having a support system can is an important factor when it comes to our mental and emotional well-being. These are the times to lean on trusted family members, friends, and even our neighbors.
This step can be easier said than done. Some of us may not have a close support system due to a multitude of different reasons or find it difficult to meet new people, possibly due to transportation issues, location, busy schedules, social anxiety, and more. Just know that a family member or friend isn’t the only way to engage in social connection and that there are plenty of other ways to meet people. Two main ways I would recommend are:
· Volunteering at your local SPCA, food bank, Boys & Girls club, and other non-profit organizations. Volunteer Delaware lists opportunities throughout Delaware, filtering by specific location, age, type of volunteering and more. This is not only a great way to meet new people but also give back to your community.
· Going to a meet-up! Meetup.com allows you to join groups depending on your interest(s), such as hiking groups, writing, health and wellbeing, comedy, politics, and so on. Most of the groups are free and some of them are also offered virtually.
Other options to meet people include joining a church or faith-based organization, taking a class at your local community center, attending a virtual event or workshop, joining a gym, or chatting someone up at the dog park. These are just some ways to meet new people and create (or expand) your support network.
2. Change Your Mindset. When life feels especially overwhelming or you’re going through a challenging time, it can be hard to maintain a positive outlook. However, while it can be difficult to be positive, the right mindset also can affect how you deal with stress and other problems. One way to do this is to embrace a “growth mindset” as opposed to a “fixed mindset.” This way of thinking indicates that we believe our abilities and intelligence are unchangeable or “fixed”, which can then cause us to avoid challenges that arise or give up easily, in fear of possible failure, all of which hinders resilience.
However, with a growth mindset, we not only see abilities as developable, but also view challenges as opportunities for learning and “growth.” Some specific ways to cultivate a growth mindset can include acknowledging your imperfections, trying to avoid comparison to others, viewing setbacks as an opportunity to grow and making sure to recognize that effort it takes to learn something and not only the end result.
Some other ways to change your mindset and create a more positive outlook on life can include:
· Practicing gratitude, such as gratitude journaling or simply saying 2-3 things you are grateful for in the morning or before you go to bed.
· Celebrating the small wins or the little things in life.
· Reflecting on what or who is currently bringing you joy.
3. Learn from the past. Speaking of reflection, another way of building resilience and learning how to better cope with problems and stressors is to think about how you have coped with them in the past. What has helped you moved past issues and led you to where you are today? Maybe it was talking through your issues with a best friend or calling your sibling for advice. Maybe it was talking it through with a therapist or attending a support group. Or maybe it involved more inner work, such as journaling, meditation or even going on a long walk/run. Think about what best helped you deal with difficult situations in the past (and that wasn’t something harmful to you or your health) and reflect on whether it is something that could help you now or even in the future.
4. Take Care of Yourself. It might seem that everyone is recommending self-care as an answer to, well, almost everything. However, just because the term self-care has become a popular buzzword (particularly in recent years), it doesn’t invalidate the actual practice of it. Self-care comes in many forms, including taking care of your physical, mental and emotional health. It looks like making sure to fuel your body with proper nutrition, getting enough exercise, focusing on high quality sleep, drinking plenty of water, and making time for personal reflection through meditation, yoga, spending time in nature, and/or prayer.
Self-care also looks like practicing self-compassion and not being too hard on yourself if you don’t eat super healthy on a certain day or miss a few days of exercise. Maybe your body is tired or maybe your mind is, but it is a good idea to learn to listen to yourself and what you need most in the moment. Sometimes this also looks like just doing nothing and resting at home and watching TV or taking a nap. Also, don’t forget to have fun, which can not only go along with self-care, but can also help build social connections.
5. Take Action. If there is something you are struggling with or finding stressful, taking action to resolve the issue(s) is one of the best things you can do. While it may be easier to initially ignore or put off the problem for a while, it will ultimately help in the long run. An example of this could be if you failed an important exam, especially if this exam is needed to continue your studies or graduate (such as the GRE or Praxis exam). While this could be incredibly discouraging at first, putting off retaking the exam for a long period of time could not only make the stress worse, but impact your ability to graduate and/or begin your career.
Instead, give yourself a deadline on when you must retake the exam by. Then try to take a different approach to studying, such as making flashcards instead of taking notes, getting a tutor or joining a study group. You can also see if there is accommodation for the exam, if you struggle with text anxiety or find yourself easily distracted. It is said that actively working on solutions and towards your goal can help make us feel more in control, even if working towards these goals takes longer than we originally anticipated.
Life is unpredictable, which means we will all encounter at least one major setback in our lives that, at the time, may seem impossible to overcome. Building resilience helps us not only overcome the setbacks we may encounter now but helps us learn how to deal with challenges we may face in the future, as well. If you find yourself getting stuck and are struggling with how to cope with these experiences, it may be a good idea to see a licensed mental health professional, such as a psychologist or social worker. They will be able to help you identify challenges, create coping mechanisms, and develop a strategy to move forwards past them and towards a life of less stress and more resilience.
Staff Blogger: Mollie Clupper
Mollie Clupper works for MHA as a Communications and Support Specialist. Using her own experiences, she wants to help bring awareness and end the stigma surrounding mental health. In her spare time, she enjoys hiking, drinking coffee, and spending time with loved ones.