Survival Mode: What is it and How to Move Past it
Have you ever had a really frustrating start to your day? I’m talking about accidentally sleeping through your alarm and then rushing to get ready for work because of course it is the day of a super important meeting. It is then you realize you forgot to buy coffee yesterday, so now you’re rushing around tired and without that caffeine boost. Your toast burns while making breakfast, you spill something on your shirt and have to change, you spend five minutes looking for your phone and then your keys before you are finally out the door and then – it happens. Your jacket snags on the doorknob as you’re leaving, yanking you back in and you stop…and then burst into tears.
Maybe this hasn’t happened to you or maybe it has happened more times than you can count. The thing is, it isn’t about the jacket catching on the door. It isn’t about spilling something on your shirt, losing your keys or even sleeping through your alarm. It is all these things happening at once, or in succession that causes a minor inconvenience (such as catching your jacket on the door) to feel like a breaking point.
Now imagine you lived in this high state of stress and chaos all of the time. That you constantly felt on high alert, finding it hard to relax, so close to a point where if something of the smallest inconvenience happens it would feel like your world would explode. This is what survival mode feels like – but first, let’s go back a bit and define it.
Survival mode is essentially defined as a “prolonged state of stress and is marked by both mental and physical exhaustion.” Although not categorized as a mental health condition, it can increase someone’s already existing anxiety or depression as their body and brain are working in overdrive to try and achieve a sense of safety. Along with chronic stress, trauma/a traumatic event could also contribute to living in “survival mode,” which could also then lead to PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).
Essentially, survival mode refers to “the body’s psychological response to stress or Fight/Flight/Freeze/Fawn.”
Fight: When you address the perceived threat head-on.
Flight: Running away from the danger.
Freeze: When you are unable to move, stay stuck in place.
Fawn: Trying to avoid the conflict by pleasing others.
These are all physical and mental responses to perceived or real threats of danger.
How do you know if you are in survival mode? Signs of survival mode could include:
· Having the inability to relax
· Becoming easily irritated
· Finding it more difficult to focus
· Feeling unmotivated to complete tasks
· Having issues coping with minor inconveniences
· Turning to alcohol and/or drugs to “numb” yourself
· Finding it harder to regulate your emotions
At this point, you may be thinking, well these all sound like symptoms of mental health disorders, such as anxiety, depression and/or ADHD. Or just signs of stress, itself, and you wouldn’t be wrong. You can be stuck in survival mode or a constant state of stress without having been diagnosed with a mental health disorder (and vice versa). You could also just be experiencing occasional or acute (short-term) stress symptoms without experiencing chronic stress. The issue is that living in survival mode for an extended period has a serious impact on your overall quality of life. This includes affecting your relationships, reduced productivity at work/school, mental and physical health concerns, and even just your overall enjoyment and happiness.
If any of these sound like you or you suspect you are in or have been in this mode for a long time, here are some tips to get out of it:
First, it is important to acknowledge it. Pushing down the feelings of stress will only make the stress worse, whereas once you not only acknowledge that it is present but also work to find the source(s) behind it, the sooner you can work to treat it. If you suspect it is due to trauma and/or PTSD, it is also important to acknowledge this, as well.
This leads to the next tip, which is to talk to someone, such as a therapist. They will help guide you into identifying the source of chronic stress or trauma and work with you to find coping skills. They also may refer you to a support group or recommend different types of therapy, such as art therapy, to help you further.
Something else that could help is to limit or even eliminate completely the stressors(s) that are causing you to be on constant high alert. Now, this could be easier said than done. If your stressor is your job, for example, it may be difficult or unreasonable (at this moment) to quit and find a new job. However, maybe there are steps you could take within your job to make it less stressful, such as adjusting your hours, changing/switching work tasks, or even implementing more breaks within your day. Another huge stressor many of us are probably experiencing right now could be related to what is happening in the news. If this is you, make sure to take a break. This doesn’t mean stopping being informed about current events, it just means that you’re allowed to step away from the TV, social media or whichever platform you get your news, and take some space for yourself.
It is also important to prioritize self-care. What seems to be one of the most basic and maybe even self-explanatory pieces of advice is sometimes the most difficult to follow. This doesn’t mean just putting on a face mask or taking a bubble bath (although it could), but it also means learning how to self-soothe and cope with stressors when they come up. This could look like taking a walk, doing some yoga or even just some stretches to relieve physical tension and clear your mind. It could look like journaling or doing a brain dump, so all your stressful thoughts don’t continue to build up inside. It could also be just taking some deep breaths to re-focus or try a breathing technique, such as box breathing.
Another aspect of self-care is self-compassion. I think at some point we may have all heard a variation of the saying “You wouldn’t talk to a friend the way you talk to yourself.” Meaning, if a friend was experiencing a tough or stressful situation, such as not getting the job they wanted or failing an exam or even something as simple as spending money on takeout after insisting they needed to save money, you wouldn’t berate them. You wouldn’t insist they were a failure or “just because they ordered takeout, they’ll never be able to save money again.” Instead, we show understanding, support and kindness – so why don’t we do the same for ourselves? A part of being human is that we make mistakes. Sure, we can learn from our mistakes, but we shouldn’t hold on to them as it will only contribute more towards chronic stress, along with the possibility of low self-esteem and self-worth.
Above all, remain hopeful. Like a lot of things in life, living in survival mode could feel like you’re treading water for hours. It could feel like you’re on a rollercoaster with a fear of heights or a hamster on a hamster wheel. The thing is, eventually you stop treading water and start swimming instead; the rollercoaster becomes fun, and the hamster finally gets off the wheel to take a drink of water. All this to say that, while living in survival mode can be exhausting and isn’t somewhere you ultimately want to stay, you can learn from it; you can get past it; and remember, you aren’t alone.
Staff Blogger: Mollie Clupper
Mollie Clupper works for MHA as a Communications and Support Specialist. Using her own experiences, she wants to help bring awareness and end the stigma surrounding mental health. In her spare time, she enjoys hiking, drinking coffee, and spending time with loved ones.