Reframing Negative Thoughts
It is normal, as humans, to experience negative thinking from time to time. It is nearly impossible to be positive 24/7 and can be quite exhausting. However, negative thinking can also be tiring and harmful to your mental and emotional health.
Negative thinking refers to a pattern of thinking negatively about yourself and your surroundings. This is different than having unhelpful thoughts every once and a while, as negative thinking can have a more serious effect on someone’s daily life/routine. It is also important to note that there is a difference between negative thinking and rumination. While similar, the latter is defined as repetitive, negative thinking or even overthinking – such as a hamster on a wheel that isn’t going anywhere.
The reasons behind negative thinking can vary person-to-person. Some negative thinking can be a symptom of a mental health disorder, such as anxiety, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), etc., but this is not always the case. Some of other reasons include fear of the future, self-criticism/low self-confidence, self-blame, catastrophizing and more. Not only are there different causes behind negative thinking, but there are also different types of it. While we won’t discuss all of them, some include the following:
Catastrophizing: This is characterized by always assuming the worst possible outcome without considering other possibilities.
“Should” statements: Just as it sounds, “should” statements are when someone makes statements on what they should be doing. This generally comes up when in comparison to others around you or even just societal standards. Examples of this could range from “I should be going to the gym/working out more” to “I should be more successful by now.”
Jumping to Conclusions: Like catastrophizing, this is when someone assumes about something or has a negative interpretation without solid facts to back up the conclusion.
Labeling and/or Mislabeling: This is when someone attaches a negative label to themselves which can then affect how they feel about themselves in different situations. Say you did poorly on a test in school or got negative feedback at work. You may then label yourself as a “failure” or “dumb.” Or if you got rejected in some capacity, such as not getting your “dream job” or asking someone on a date and the person saying no. This could then lead you to label yourself as “unworthy.”
These are just some examples of types of pessimistic thinking patterns, but there are a lot more that someone could engage in. So, the question would be – how do we change our negative thinking?
One of the first things to do when it comes to reframing our negative thinking is to identify negative thinking/thoughts we would like to change, including when and what you usually think negatively about. This is also the first step in what is known as cognitive restructuring/cognitive reframing, which plays a large part in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). For example, say most of your negative thinking comes up before work, on the way to work and then at your place of work itself, then you can identify that the negative thinking is most-likely career related. It is also helpful to identify what type of negative thinking patterns you tend to encounter most, such as catastrophizing or “should” statements.
The second step in cognitive reframing would be to evaluate your negative thoughts for accuracy. Are these thoughts a.) realistic and b.) do you have evidence of these thoughts being true/having happened before? For example, maybe you are finding yourself having a really hard time and thinking that “everything feels really difficult, and I will never get through it.” Have there been moments in the past when you found yourself feeling this way? If so, evaluate how you got through the hard times in the past.
This leads to the third step, which is the actual reframing of the negative thought. Using the above statement of “everything feels really difficult, and I will never get through it,” one way to combat this would be to re-word it and then provide examples backing up the statement. Such as, “everything feels really difficult right now, but I have gotten through it before and here is how,” and then provide past examples of difficult moments in your life and what you did to move forward.
Another example, and something I find myself personally doing a lot, is saying that “I should be doing ________” or “I’m so lazy” when I am not doing something that I “should be doing” and instead, maybe lying in bed or watching a TV show. The thing is, there are a lot of things we could be doing, but at the same time, it is also important to remember to give yourself grace and allow your body and mind to rest. So, instead of saying “I’m so lazy,” try saying “I’m allowing myself a moment to slow down and relax before continuing about my day.” Remember that it is hard to pour from an empty cup, so taking time to rest before taking care of others is beneficial for everyone.
Another strategy that is recommended for negative thinking is to keep track of the negative thoughts, including what they are and when they occur, in a journal, diary or even the Notes App in your phone. By doing this, you will not only be able to see which thinking patterns occur the most, but also when they occur, such as in high-stress situations or depressive episodes.
Last, but not least, is to seek out a therapist, particularly if the negative thinking is something that is becoming a daily occurrence or having a major interference in your everyday life. This isn’t to say that you can’t address these thoughts on your own, but a therapist can lead you more efficiently through the cognitive reframing technique, as well as teach you further coping mechanisms for unhelpful thoughts and more.
Negative thinking is a normal and common part of our lives as human beings, but if you find that these thoughts are taking over and are proving to be disruptive, it is a good idea to find ways to address them. It most likely won’t be a quick fix but will get easier over time and with practice and ultimately, reframing negative thoughts into positive ones can have an impact on our overall well-being.
Staff Blogger: Mollie Clupper
Mollie Clupper works for MHA as a Communications and Support Specialist. Using her own experiences, she wants to help bring awareness and end the stigma surrounding mental health. In her spare time, she enjoys hiking, drinking coffee, and spending time with loved ones.