What to Do When Things Feel Heavy
I’m sure we have all been there at some point. When you feel as if your body is made of lead or as if you’re carrying a backpack full of rocks. Or, as the phrase goes, when you feel as if “you have the weight of the world on your shoulders.” That is because, as humans, we can only balance so much. Between responsibilities at work and school, taking care of kids, pets and/or being a caregiver for a parent, maintaining or fixing up a house/apartment, all while cooking, cleaning, and trying to keep up with your physical health through daily exercise, it all becomes, well, a lot. This doesn’t even take into consideration more widespread and global stressors, such as the economy, politics, climate-related disasters, and more, which all have a serious impact on emotional and mental health. In fact, as stated by The American Institute of Stress, as of 2024, around “43% of adults reported feeling more anxious than the previous year.”
With all these stressors, both internal and external, it can become easier to feel weighed down. If you are someone that struggles with major depressive disorder or another mood disorder, you may be even more susceptible to the feeling of being overwhelmed. It can also be especially difficult when such stressors are out of your control. So, what can we do about it?
· Identify the source(s). Identify the source or sources of where the stressors or “heavy feeling” is coming from. Is it something recent or is it something you may have been dealing with for a while? It could even be a stressor that you didn’t realize was a stressor until you dug deeper.
· Validate your own feelings. I was talking to a friend one time, and they mentioned how lost, hopeless and stressed out they were feeling in that moment but then ended it with “but I know I shouldn’t complain because other people have it so much worse.” Well, sure, of course they do. There are also people that seemingly have it a lot better, too. It is almost as if we feel guilty for venting about what we are going through and feel the need to apologize for it, but we are also allowed to our feelings. If we push them down or ignore them it could ultimately make it worse and invalidates what we feel.
· Find the small joys. This is something that I thought of the other week when I was feeling down on myself. Recovering from the flu and just feeling overwhelmed with the state of the world, I decided to take a walk outside and by the water. I just happened to walk to the pier as the sun was setting in the sky and the moon was in a perfect crescent shape and it helped put everything into perspective.
It reminds you at moments like these that, when everything feels too large and heavy to handle, to focus on the small. Get up early to see the sunrise, take a moment before work to slowly sip and really savor your coffee or tea, or even sit down in the grass and feel it between your fingers or try to find a four-leaf clover (weather-dependent, of course). When everything feels so looming and too much to handle, it can help to really ground us and find the smaller joys in life.
· Practice self-care. We can all preach the importance of self-care, but it is also important to remember to practice self-care that works for you. Articles will recommend meditation, but maybe you have tried this multiple times, and it isn’t for you. Maybe it is running instead. Or maybe it is yoga or kickboxing or dance. It could be painting, making projects out of clay, creative writing/poetry, puzzles, crosswords, video games and so much more. It also doesn’t have to be anything at all, really. For me, I love naps. Don’t get me wrong, I love doing crafts and going on walks outside, too, but ultimately, I just love sleeping. Taking a nap after a hard day or when I feel overwhelmed is my self-care and helps me feel recharged (physically and mentally) afterwards.
Your type of self-care doesn’t have to be any of these ideas, it doesn’t have to be expensive (or it can be), and it doesn’t have to be something you do for hours on end or every single day. If you have something that works for you and helps you feel better after a tough day (within reason, of course), then that is still self-care.
· Be kind to yourself. Above all, be kind to yourself. I don’t there is anyone else in our own lives they we judge and criticize more than ourselves, even (or especially when) we are at our lowest points. However, when we are at our lowest it is usually when we need to give ourselves the most grace and forgiveness. If we already feel as if we are being weighed down, we don’t need to push ourselves down even further. Practicing patience is also important during these moments – change takes time.
· Seek connections. Finally, try to seek connections and build relationships with others. Talk to someone you trust, such as a family member or friend, about what you’re going through. Or connect with a mental health professional, as they can teach you skills such as coping skills, learning self-compassion, building resilience, and more.
Life can feel heavy and overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to stay that way forever. By connecting with a therapist, practicing self-care, finding small joys and being compassionate towards yourself (and others), you can help lighten the load and truly find rest.
Staff Blogger: Mollie Clupper
Mollie Clupper works for MHA as a Communications and Support Specialist. Using her own experiences, she wants to help bring awareness and end the stigma surrounding mental health. In her spare time, she enjoys hiking, drinking coffee, and spending time with loved ones.