Loneliness in the Age of Social Media: Why We Feel Disconnected Despite Being Connected

In our generation, social media has become a primary tool for staying connected, discovering new trends, and sharing experiences. But why, then, are so many of us still feeling lonely? One of the biggest impacts of COVID-19 is how normalized isolation has become, even with all these means of staying connected. It’s no secret that social media has contributed to rising levels of loneliness and anxiety. Platforms like TikTok and Instagram offer us brief glimpses into people’s lives, but often leave us feeling pressured to measure up. The truth is, we never really know what’s happening behind closed doors, and constantly comparing ourselves to these snapshots can make us feel inadequate or as if we’re somehow falling short.

Take the popular day-in-the-life videos of influencers who appear productive every hour of the day. For someone going through a tough time, watching others wake up early, exercise, cook, and socialize all in one day can feel overwhelming. But in reality, the person behind the screen might also be struggling mentally. A quick 15 second clip doesn’t capture the whole story or a person's true whole day. It's really all staged for what viewers want to see.

Comparing ourselves to these staged videos and edited images often leads to low self-esteem, restrictive eating, or simply feeling ‘not good enough.’ When we see others traveling, starting new jobs, or spending time with friends and family, it’s easy to fall into a cycle of self-doubt. We have to remind ourselves that not everything we see is real.

Research from UK universities has found a link between excessive social media use and increased rates of depression and anxiety, identifying a so-called “Envy Trap.” These studies show that constant comparison and the desire to maintain a “perfect” online persona can contribute to feelings of inadequacy and social anxiety. Likes and comments on platforms like Instagram and TikTok have become such a focus that, for some, posting is less about enjoyment and more about validation.

Then there’s FOMO, or the ‘fear of missing out.’ This feeling is a major source of anxiety. Sometimes, FOMO alone is enough to make people attend events or parties they’d rather avoid, just to keep up. Ultimately, it’s important to remember that social media only shows a tiny fraction of reality. Focusing on real-life connections and grounding ourselves in authentic experiences can be a helpful antidote to these feelings of loneliness and self-doubt.

Social media platforms offer endless opportunities for comparison. Research shows that comparing oneself to others online can lead to anxiety and depression, especially among adolescents, who are in a crucial phase of identity formation. During this time, teens are particularly vulnerable to external influences as they shape their sense of self and learn where they fit in socially.

The American Psychological Association reports that 41% of teens who use social media most frequently rate their mental health as poor or very poor, compared to 23% of teens who use it the least. This difference highlights how excessive social media use can negatively impact mental health, with comparison often at the heart of these effects. The constant exposure to curated images and “highlight reels” can create unrealistic standards, leaving young people feeling inadequate or isolated when their own lives don’t match up.

Platforms like TikTok and Instagram offer us brief glimpses into people’s lives, which often leave us feeling pressured to measure up. But not all social media trends create this pressure, some can actually foster connection and understanding. Recently, a trend called “17 diapers” has circled on TikTok, where mothers share their experiences with postpartum depression to remind each other that they are not alone. By openly discussing the struggles of motherhood, these moms help normalize the reality of postpartum challenges, breaking down the stigma around mental health. This trend is a reminder that social media can also be a place of support, where shared stories reduce isolation and let others know they aren’t alone.

We live in a world that is constantly connected through technology. It’s important that we don’t lose focus on real-life connections. By being mindful of how social media affects us personally, setting boundaries, and building on real relationships, we can help combat the feelings of loneliness and anxiety that come from digital comparison. We have to remember that likes, followers, or videos don’t measure up to how we feel in the real world beyond all that.

Guest Blogger: Helona Barnes, MHA Intern

Helona Barnes is a junior at the University of Delaware, majoring in Health Behavior Science with a minor in Public Health. From Frederick, MD, she enjoys watching shows, going on walks, trying new coffee shops and working with children. Her experiences fuel her passion for mental health and wellness.

 
 
 
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